


Unless We Let It

by Colonel_Edd



Series: Love Eventually [1]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Family, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-09 06:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17996708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colonel_Edd/pseuds/Colonel_Edd
Summary: It’s Jack and Ianto’s fifth year wedding anniversay but things aren’t quite what they seem, with strangers appearing out of thin air telling them their entrire world is a lie will Jack and Ianto continue to live in their dream world or give it all up for the greater good?





	1. Toasts

**Author's Note:**

> This one’s been buzzing around my head for ages and it just woulnd’t go away so here, hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments, it’s only a short one :)

The house was full of people, Ianto knew Jack had invited too many guests but couldn’t really find it within himself to be mad about it. He knew why his husband had done it, he too wanted everyone to be here to celebrate. Sure he wasn’t as party mad as Jack but he did enjoy sharing his happiness with others. It’s not everyday they celebrate their fifth year wedding anniversary, “Jack, have you let Milo out yet?” Ianto asked as he looked around for the dog, grabbing his husbands attention from where he was trying to pour champagne into glasses for their guests

“Sorry love, not yet” he stopped what he was doing and pressed a kiss to Ianto’s cheek, “I’ll go do that now”

“Okay” Ianto smiled dopily at him, pulling him in for a proper kiss before he could escape, “Hurry back”

“Don’t I always?” Jack smirked, pecking him once more for good luck before scampering off to let the dog out while Ianto finished off pouring the drinks. The party was in full swing, people were chatting, congratulating the couple and some were even dancing to the music Jack had insisted they put on. Ianto just knew he’d be roped into a dance or two before the night was over, not that he minded, his husband was a wonderful dancer after all.

But if the noise woke Cara there would be hell to pay, it had taken him ages to get her down that evening and for once Ianto wanted to enjoy a night with his friends without baby dribble all down his shirt, “Jack,” he caught his attention as he started handing out drinks, “Tony can’t drink the champagne, did you remember to get that wine?”

“Uh…” Jack winced as he tried to remember, feeling a wave or relief crash into him as he remembered he’d left it in his car, “In the car, why don’t I finish handing these out while you go get it?” He could tell by the strain around his eyes that he needed a little break, his husband wasn’t one for big groups of people and it meant a lot to him that Ianto would put up with his impromptu surprise party, he’d make it up to him later big time

“Sure” Ianto breathed out a breath of relief as he got an out, he wondered how long he could stretch it, five minutes wasn’t too long to root around the car for a bottle of wine right? Okay, maybe three, he thought to himself as he slipped out the front door. He got all the way to the car before he spotted a woman stood on the other side of the garden fence just staring at him. Thinking it was a little strange, Ianto quickly grabbed the wine Jack had left on the front seat and checked to see if she was still there, which she was, “Can I help you?” He asked, was she lost? Hurt? High?

The woman had big black hair and a gap between her teeth, she was staring at him with wide eyes as she spoke, “You need to wake up Ianto”

“Excuse me?” She was insane, “How do you know my name?”

“You need to fight it!” She carried on, “You need to wake up!”

A little scared, Ianto backed away, “You need to go, I’ll call the police if you don’t leave” he turned to opened the door, looking over his shoulder to see if she was following him but was even more creeped out to see she was gone, vanished into thin air. Was he going crazy? He couldn’t have imagined that right?

“Ianto?” Jack was waiting on the other side of the door with a worried look, “Yan, who were you talking to? You look like you’ve seen a ghost”

“Jack” Ianto was a little ashamed to admit that he practically flung himself into his husband arms, holding him tight, “There was this woman- she knew my name and she was saying the craziest thing and- and-”

“Hey” Jack pressed a kiss to his temple, rubbing his back soothingly, “Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay. She was probably just drunk”

Biting his lip, Ianto pulled away, “You think?”

Jack gently eased Ianto’s teeth apart and pressed a soft kiss to the abused lip, “I’m sure of it, why don’t you go check on Cara while I take this” he took the wine out of his shaking hands, “and make sure everyone has a drink for when we make our toasts?”

“Yeah,” Ianto rubbed his forehead feeling silly, he had just overreacted, “Yeah, okay. I’ll go check on Cara”

“Good!” Jack smiled, swatting him on the arse as he pushed by, “I’ll be down here dazzling our guest” and dazzle he does while his husband takes a moment to collect himself, he had tried to keep calm when Ianto was so obviously shaken but he too was worried, if Ianto didn’t recognise the woman who had been outside then that was a problem, especially since she knew his name. Still, maybe it was nothing. If he saw her again they could always go to the police, never could be too careful. Especially since they had a young daughter just upstairs.

Eventually Ianto came back down looking more confident in himself and it was time to do their toasts, “Okay everyone if I can have you attention” Jack clicked his wedding ring against his glass to get their attention, “We all know why we’re here today and that is to celebrate mine and Ianto’s fifth year wedding anniversary. Five years of marital bliss and we both look as good as ever” Jack grinned as people laughed, “Seriously though I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who had been there for us when the going got tough, Mark without you we would never have found Milo, our precious little prince, Sarah, without you I never would have got the kick up the arse I needed to broach the subject of adoption, James! Oh James, without you I never would have found out the miracles of edible body paint-” he laughed when Ianto slapped him on the arm along with everyone else, “I would like to thank you all for being here to celebrate this wonderful day with us and be warned, around midnight I’m afraid I may kick you all out because my husband has decided to wear his sexy suit tonight and I have very little self control” Ianto blushed as he heard someone whistle, he bet it was George, horny bastard, “To Ianto’s suit trousers, may they always compliment his arse” Jack raised his glass and of course all their friends did so too

“Lovely Jack” Ianto took his turn once the titters died down, “What more can I say? I’ll keep this short and sweet, just like him” he nodded his head at his husband who was in fact an inch shorter than him without his massive boots on, waiting for the cackling to die down as Jack clutched his chest dramatically, “The last five years have been some of the best of my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world, atrocious bed manners and all”

Jack smirked at his husband and pitched him on the arse as he went to go let Milo back in from where he was scratching at the back door, letting Ianto continue his little roast while he could. He’d get him back for that later, atrocious bed manners indeed, “Hey Milo, come on boy” what he wasn’t expecting to see was a man stood at the bottom of his garden like a complete creep, “Hey” he tried to keep his voice down, he didn’t want to cause a scene, “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Nothing is real, you have to believe me” the man started to tell him but Jack was ready to either punch him or run back inside to make sure Ianto was okay, “You need to snap out of it, you need to wake up!”

Jack turned to make sure no one had followed him outside but when he turned back around to deal with the creep he was gone. There was no sign of him at that just put Jack further on edge, “Come on Milo, inside boy” he grabbed his phone from its charging port and called the police, locking the back door as he tired to think of a way to explain this to Ianto without having him freak out massively.

Once Jack managed to get their guests to leave under guise of him wanting to shag his husband till sunrise, he sat Ianto down on the sofa and explained what he had seen in the back garden, “I knew something was wrong” Ianto was ten seconds away from complete meltdown at the thought that Cara was in danger and Jack knew he had to act quick, he wasn’t exactly calm either

“Come on, we’re sleeping in her room tonight, we’ll take it in shifts” He pulled his husband up by his hand and led him upstairs, “I’ll grab Milo and he can sleep with us as well, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you or our little girl” Jack swore, they’d have to get though him first.


	2. Tears

In the morning Jack had stiff joints from sleeping on the floor but he knew it was worth it when he saw Ianto sleeping soundly next to him. He’d sleep on a bed of nails every night if the first thing he got to see in the morning was his husbands adorable face. Still, the peace didn’t last long as the dog scratched at the door and their daughter cried for attention. Bottle, change and dress, Jack thought to himself as Ianto started to stir next to him.

“Jack?” Ianto rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around, clearly confused, “Why are we- oh yeah” he shook his head as he remembered, “Coffee?”

“I’d love one” Jack nodded passionately as he cuddled their little girl, “Say good morning to Taddy, Cara” he waved one of her little first and beamed when Ianto laughed at his antics

“Morning Cara” Ianto pressed a kiss to her red curls and another on to Jack’s cheek, “Morning Jack, I’ll make her a bottle while I’m down there”

“Okay love” Jack watched him shuffle from the room with heart eyes in full effect, he couldn’t help it, his husband just brought it out of him.

They had a relatively normal morning and Ianto was ready to put the whole thing behind him until he turned on the TV, “JACK!” He shouted, throwing the remote away from himself as his eyes were glued to the screen, clutching Cara tighter to his chest

“What! What?!” Jack came running in from the kitchen holding a wooden spoon, his jaw dropping too when he saw who was on the screen, “That’s him, that’s the man I saw outside” he pointed to the only man on the screen as Ianto pointed to the gap toothed woman on his left

“And that’s the woman I saw, who’s the one in the middle?” She was pretty, wearing glasses and of Asian descent but was equally as creepy as the others because hello, she was on their TV screen.

Then everything got even creepier, “Hello, I’m Toshiko” the woman introduced herself

“Can they hear us?” Jack hissed as he picked up the remote, trying to turn the TV off but it was no use

“Yes, we can” the man rolled his eyes as Jack pulled the plug from its socket, “Yeah, that’s not going to work Jack”

“Is this some sort of joke?” Ianto glared at his husband, clutching their daughter tightly, “Some sort of prank show? Because its not funny Jack!”

The Gap toothed woman shook her head, “This is all a dream, you’ve got to believe us, you’ve got to wake up”

“Think about it” the lady who said she was called Toshiko told them, “Does nothing seem out of place? Your memories aren’t stitched together like a shoddy patchwork quilt?”

Jack glared at the screen, “This is insane, I remember everything perfectly”

Ianto frowned as he looked at the strangers on his screen, “I- I remember… Jack how many siblings have I got?”

“What?” Jack looked at him in disbelief, “You aren’t actually buying this are you?”

“Answer the question” Ianto demanded, “Because I can’t remember ever meeting your family, I don’t even know if you have family”

“You are my family” Jack grabbed his free hand and held it tightly, “All the family I need is right here” but now Ianto had said it he couldn’t stop thinking about it, did Ianto have a family? How didn’t he know that, “We’ve been married five years” he said stubbornly instead.

“And we met three before that” Ianto nodded, trying to convince himself even as everything started to crumble around him, “We- we had our first date by accident, we were both set up on blind dates and met each other instead”

Jack nodded along, “We went to a club”

“You asked me to dance” Ianto could see it in his minds eye but it didn’t seem real, like a story he had been told a thousand times, “Why- why don’t I…”

Jack looked back at the screen, the people were watching them guiltily, “But this is real, I love you, that’s real. I know it is so this can’t be fake or just a dream” Jack argued but it sounded empty even to his own ears, “Where did I go to school?”

Ianto looked horrified as he shook his head, “I- I don’t know” 

“Jack, Ianto you need to wake up… your daughter is here waiting for you, the real Cara” The gap toothed woman told them and the other two people glared at her, “You need to snap out of this”

But Jack didn’t want to, what was his real life like if it wasn’t this? Was Ianto even real or had he dreamt up his dream man? He was scared of what was waiting for him, was it anything like the perfect life he had now? Jack didn’t want anything to change and he knew Ianto agreed by the way he was clutching his hand tightly, “Ianto-” Jack murmured but he was interrupted

“We have to wake up” Ianto sounded as heartbroken as he felt, “If Cara is waiting for us, we can’t leave her all alone”

“But she’s right here, Cara is right here” Jack wrapped an arm around his husband, were they even really married?

Ianto looked down at the baby in his arms and felt the first tear fall, she was perfect, his little girl, “I love you both so much but you know this isn’t real Jack”

“I don’t want anything to change” Jack told him desperately as the room seemed to fade around them

Ianto pulled him in for one last breathtaking kiss, pouring everything he felt into a few precious seconds, “Then we just have to make sure we don’t let it” the last thing Ianto saw before the world turned black around him was Jack’s tearful face and their daughters tightly sprung red curls.


	3. Talks

When Jack woke up it wasn’t to the sound of Ianto’s singing in the shower, nor was it to his daughters cries of the dogs mad barking. Instead he was drawn from his slumber by the familiar leaking pipes and squabbling of Torchwood three and he felt a pang in his chest when he realised none of it was real. He looked to his left and saw Ianto was in a similar state, looking around the medical bay with tears in his eyes as he remembered what his real life was. 

A string of office hook ups with his boss, a crappy flat in a shady neighbourhood, no dog, no husband and certainly no Cara. His precious baby girl was never real. Ianto struggled not break down into sobs as he asked why the hell it hurt so much to loose her then? Why did he still love her so much? He and Jack weren’t together, they weren’t in love, they had never even been on a date.

How the hell could the team have lied to him about that, about his precious baby girl? Ianto couldn’t even bring himself to look at them, Owen lying to him he could understand, he was a prick but Toshiko? He had thought them friends, how could she look him in the eye and lie about something like that? He felt betrayed, they had forced his hand, broken his trust and torn away a life he had always dreamt of. Well, he hoped they were happy with themselves because he sure wasn’t.

Jack was no better, he was already seriously considering just activating the device that had put him to sleep again but Owen was quick to crush that dream as he came stomping over to them, “Hello sleeping beauties, you sure took your time”

“Fuck off Owen” Ianto’s voice sounded rough and scratchy but seriously Jack couldn’t have been the only one to hear the grief underlying it, could he?

“Fuck off yourself Ianto, we’ve been working none stop to wake you both up, a little gratitude wouldn’t go unappreciated” Jack could only watch with sad eyes as Ianto leapt up and slammed Owen in the wall, he knew he should stop him but he understood the urge pummel the medic too much

“No Owen you will shut the fuck up for once because I am not in the mood for your shit right now” Ianto released him and stormed out of the hub, wiping the tears from his cheeks as he went.

Shocked, Owen rubbed his throat with a scowl, “Psycho”

“I’ll be in my office, nobody disturb me” Jack made his exit a little more gracefully but that wasn’t to say he was immune from crying either as soon as the team could no longer see his face.

It hurt that Ianto would run away from him, especially since they were both going through the same thing right now but he understood why his hus- why _Ianto_ would need some space. It’s not like they were an item, not really. He’d never so much as bought him flowers or kissed him without it leading straight to sex in the office. But damn, Jack thought as he wiped his eyes fruitlessly, he wanted Ianto so much right then. He wanted to be comforted in his warm arms, he wanted to snuggle into his soft stomach and just cry for days.

He wanted his daughter back too, Cara was so loved, he would treasure her memory forever. And Milo too, god he loved that dog so much. Jack closed his eyes and swallowed past the lump in his throat, if only people could see him now, the mighty Captain Jack Harkness crying over the memory of a dog that never even existed.

Jack let Ianto take the day to sort himself out before he found himself dithering at his door that evening, he’d bought some chocolate on a whim on the way, the coffee flavoured ones he remembers- or thinks he remembers- Ianto liking. Gathering his courage, Jack knocked firmly on the door and felt a little embarrassed when Ianto opened it right away, he’d probably seen him out the window, “Jack” Ianto nodded, he looked like he’d been crying, “Can I help you?”

“Can I come in?” Jack held up the chocolates, “Peace offering?”

Ianto took the chocolates with pursed lips and thankfully let him inside, “What do you want Jack?” He asked sounding like he hadn’t stopped crying since he stormed out of the hub, “If this is about Owen I didn’t mean to but-”

“No, no not at all” Jack assured him as he sat down on his sofa, patting the spot next to him, “I thought we could… talk”

“Talk” Ianto repeated, sitting down next to him but not close enough for Jack to touch him, “What about?”

Jack gave him an unimpressed look, “Really? You haven’t even a clue? I thought you knew everything”

“I don’t want to think about it” Ianto closed his eyes, “It hurts too much, please don’t make me think about it”

“We don’t have to” Jack shuffled closer and put a hand on his knee, “But I think it would help if we did. Just once” Jack winced as Ianto nodded, croaking out a broken, ‘Okay’, he didn’t want to hurt him but they needed to open the wound before they could seal it properly, “What do you remember?” He asked, he could only hope Ianto remembered less than him, that he was in less pain

“All of it” Ianto sniffed but didn’t move away from the contact, “Our house, the white picket fence, the back garden you never bothered to look after. You would tell me you did but I knew all about the gardener you hired. Our dog, Milo, a border-collie who would cock block us at the worst moments, he was so cute as a puppy, you called him our fur child” he chuckled through the tears, “Our- our daughter Cara, she was so beautiful Jack. I have never loved something as much as I loved her, it hurts, it hurts so damn much that she’s gone” he tried to rein in the tears but when Jack pulled him in for a hug crying as well, Ianto let it all out.

Eventually the tears ran dry and Jack released his hold on the other man, “I can remember how we met”

Ianto nodded, “Blind dates gone wrong, we went to a club”

“I asked you to dance” Jack chipped in, “You were awful but I was so smitten”

Ianto seemed lost in thought as he dove back into the memories, “I proposed”

“I said yes” Jack licked his lips, “I had no idea it was coming, you were so sneaky, the romantic dinner, the moonlit stroll, I should have known but when you got down on one knee I swear I felt the world still beneath my feet”

“But that never happened” Ianto pointed out painfully, “Not really, you don’t remember me doing that, you remember it happening in a dream”

Jack carried on regardless, “Our honeymoon in France, you spoke pretty good french but I was godawful at it, it was so sexy”

“We barely left our hotel room those first few days” Ianto bit his lip, startled when Jack gently tugged it from his teeth with his thumb just like he had done a few hours ago- in the dream, that never really happened, Ianto reminded himself. Then why do I want him to kiss me again so badly? He asked himself as Jack watched him carefully, it wouldn’t take much for him to close the distance.

“Ianto” Jack whispered, closing his eyes and Ianto leant forward as Jack pulled back. Thankfully Jack hadn’t seen him do that, Ianto thought to himself, mortified. When Jack opened his eyes he looked determined yet also terrified, “Ianto I can’t promise you a white picket fence, I can’t bring back our little girl or buy you a dog but I can promise to always be here, for as long as you’ll let me stay”

“Jack, what…”

“Have dinner with me?” Jack asked with the heart eyes Ianto had never thought he’d get to see again, “Let’s see where this goes, for real”

“Yes” Ianto didn’t even have to think about it, “I’d love to have dinner with you”

Jack grinned, not his megawatt cheesy Captain Jack smile but his honest almost bashful one, “Yeah?”

“Yeah” Ianto smiled back, Jack didn’t stay long after that and as Ianto shut the door behind him his gaze was caught by the chocolates Jack had brought him that were still sitting on the coffee table. Leaning against the closed door, Ianto told himself nothing has to change unless he lets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... what did you think? Hopefully I won’t be assaulted by any digital spanner’s (I’m looking at you ‘noone’) Let me know in the comments! :)


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